Pensieve

Love, Kindergarten Style

2012-01-13T19:16:00.002-05:00

Adelle and Gabe, holding hands after school

"Mom, I'm in love with Gabe. He's my boyfriend."

These were the actual words that came out of Adelle's mouth about two months ago. In one of my better parenting moments, I did not react to this outwardly. Internally, I was freaking out.

She's only five!
How can this be happening?
Where did this come from?
What is she being exposed to at school?

Thankfully, none of these thoughts escaped. Instead, I smiled and asked, "What does it mean that you are in love with him and he's your boyfriend?"

She replied simply, "It means he's my best friend who is a boy and I love him."

It was in that instant that I realized that I was projecting my 34 years of (not so great) experiences and understanding onto a kindergarten relationship. I was grossly over-complicating things. What Adelle and Gabe share is true. It is simple. It is pure. It is Love.

I cannot deny the affection they have for one another. Their sweet spirits simply "get" each other; they are kindred. Haven't I met people like that in my lifetime? Absolutely. Some of them are still my closest friends. They are gifts from God to me.

Does it make me a little uncomfortable? Yes. Sometimes it does. But I have to remind myself that my discomfort comes from my own baggage. Not their behavior. They are not acting inappropriately at all. Adelle is very responsible and knows and keeps personal boundaries. I trust her.

I have come to find great joy and delight in their friendship. They bring out lovely things in each other that I might not get to see otherwise. No one makes Adelle laugh the way Gabe does. He brings out her creativity, imagination, and sense of fun and adventure. Adelle brings a real sweetness and sincerity to Gabe. He delights in making her laugh. He shows genuine affection for her through hugs and holding hands without reservation. It is sweet.

Their friendship is exactly what C.S. Lewis speaks of in The Four Loves:

"Lamb says somewhere that if, of three friends (A, B, and C), A should die, then B loses not only A but “A’s part in C,” while C loses not only A but “A’s part in B.” In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald’s reaction to a specifically Caroline joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him “to myself” now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald. Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, “Here comes one who will augment our loves.” For in this love “to divide is not to take away.” Of course the scarcity of kindred souls – not to mention practical considerations about the size of rooms and the audibility of voices – set limits to the enlargement of the circle; but within those limits we possess each friend not less but more as the number of those with whom we share him increases. In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious “nearness by resemblance” to Heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah’s vision are crying “Holy, Holy, Holy” to one another (Isaiah VI, 3) The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall all have.”

Of all the things my children teach me, the greatest is love. Over and over again and in countless ways, they teach me to see, give, and receive love.

Everybody Loves Christmas

2011-12-22T11:32:00.002-05:00

Have you noticed that? Most people LOVE to celebrate Christmas. What's not to love? Candy, family time, a jolly old man bringing gifts, and a cute baby in a stable. It's a very user-friendly holiday.

Have you also noticed that fewer people get excited about Easter? And much of Easter's excitement hinges on a furry bunny who brings candy. It's a nice thought; bunnies are cute. Bunnies are user-friendly.

It's nice to think of a baby Savior born. Babies are cute, too. It's harder to celebrate the death of a radical man who loved the unlovable and challenged the cultural norms of piety in His day. It's painful to meditate on an undeserved death in place of our own. It's mind-blowing to fathom that Jesus was raised again and will return to reign over all for eternity in a new, perfect world.

I love Christmas; really I do! But if Jesus had simply been born, lived his life quietly, and died an old man, my life would be very different today. My faith, my life, and my hope revolve around the truth and the power of His death and Resurrection.

As you celebrate Christmas, I pray that you find joy in His birth and look forward with hope and gratitude for His death and resurrection, too.

He was born to live. He was born to die. He was born to live again. He was born to save the world. Marvel. Hope. Believe.

"For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, On the throne of David and over his kingdom, To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness From then on and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will accomplish this." Isaiah 9:6-7

This is Christmas.

another update

2011-12-06T15:47:00.001-05:00

Got an in person interview for the super cool job on Friday at 6:00 pm. :)

And, since I don't think I've mentioned it on here yet, I started a new blog with recipes. Head on over, subscribe, and enjoy. http://foodandcheerandsong.blogspot.com/

Update and Advent for Kids

2011-11-28T15:42:00.001-05:00

So, I've actively been looking for jobs. I have a phone interview tomorrow (Tuesday) at 5:00 for a REALLY cool job. All prayers welcome.

In other news...

I redid the Scriptures for the girls' advent boxes this year using their favorite children's Bible. I thought I'd share them here in case you'd like to use them, too. When I did them several years ago it was so hard to find these already made up, so I did them myself! Enjoy. :)

Click "Download original" in the upper right hand corner to preserve the formatting (after clicking each link to access the file).
Days 1 -10
Days 11 - 20
Days 21-25

It's Time.

2011-10-24T20:34:00.004-04:00

Five and a half years ago I gave birth to my first daughter. Jamie and I knew before we ever had children that when that day came, I would spend their younger years at home with them. It was what we both wanted for our family. This decision came with a lot of sacrifices: financial sacrifices for sure, but I also gave up a part of myself. I loved working. I was good at my job and I enjoyed feeling productive and valued for my contributions. It hurt to let go of that part of myself for awhile.

I have spent the last five plus years home with my children, working harder at this job than any other in my life, past or future. It has been hard. It has been good. It has been my dream. It has blessed our family. And now it is time to step back in to the paid workforce.

It has been a difficult process, coming to this decision. I always want my children to know that I am available to them... to see it and to feel it. I had to work through feelings of abandoning my children.

Going back to work is not abandoning my children.

I had to work through my own fears of re-entering paid work. Am I still valuable? Can I still contribute? Will anyone want to hire me?

I am still valuable. We'll see about the rest.

I had to work through feeling of becoming replaceable and insignificant. Of my family not needing me anymore.

These thoughts still hurt.

I had to work through financial realities. I had to wrestle with who would care for my children when I am not with them. I had to trust. And I had to let go... just a little.

I'm working on it.

Yes. My children still need me. But they are both thriving in school and need me in different ways than they used to. I can still meet those needs and work (I can, I can, I can.). I am under no pressure to find a job, so I can take my time and be choosy. When I find a GREAT job, I will leave for work in the morning knowing that Jamie will be caring for our children. I think it will be a welcome change for our entire family. I hope.

And so I am ready. As ready as you can be for change. It's scary and exciting.

Now I just have to find someone to offer me a really great job. :)

a blessing and a curse

2011-10-21T06:53:00.003-04:00

I am referring to Magic Erasers, of course.

I have a confession.

I have a slight addiction to Magic Erasers. I actually have to time their use very carefully. You see, once I start cleaning with them I am at once equally elated by how shiny and clean things are as I am horrified by how disgustingly dirty they were to begin with. It is in this moment of bliss and pain that the compulsion kicks in - I can no longer rest until every inch of my home has been Magic Erasered. I'm sick, I know.

Please tell me I'm not alone.

And in closing, a warning: If you have not yet begun Magic Erasering, please don't start. It's just too hard to stop. Just say NO to Magic Erasers.

My Kids Think I'm Cool!

2011-10-14T06:44:00.001-04:00

I know, right!?

It's probably the first time and will likely be the last, but my kids actually think I'm cool. Why? Because I now have an iPhone.

I know, I know. But I had a free upgrade, so I figured, "why not".

And yes, I'm pretty sure my three year old and five year old already know how to use it better than I do.

But the good news is that I am not yet too old to adapt to new technology. That's good, right?

Oh, and my kids will never know what these are:

And So It Begins...

2011-10-09T16:00:00.002-04:00

Adelle: Hey Mom. Guess what?
Me: What?
Adelle: I have a boyfriend.
Me: You do?
Adelle: Yep. I am in love with Gabe. He wears rainbow socks and has brown hair.
Me: Well, with rainbow socks, I certainly see the appeal. Does Gabe know he's your boyfriend?
Adelle: Well, I told him on Friday that I was in love with him. He just laughed and said "That's silly".
Me: Well, thankfully you and Gabe have plenty of time until you get married.
Adelle: Yeah.

Sigh.

Beauty School Drop Out

2011-09-21T17:13:00.001-04:00

Yeah. I never paint my nails. But I was just in the mood for fun nails today. We'll see how long they last. :)

And yes, I really am a beauty school drop out.

Maybe Worth Only 100 Words or So

2011-09-20T16:59:00.002-04:00

From what I hear, a picture is worth a thousand words. I'm not sure mine speak that clearly. But my encouraging hubby seems to think I ought to be posting more of my pictures here, so I will try to do that more often. Starting now.

These are a few of my favorite shots from Laura's baptism at Greenleaf Vineyard Church's 4th birthday bash.

Shoes

2011-08-22T14:09:00.006-04:00

I took the girls to Target today to buy them some new "fancy" shoes. My only requirement is that it have a strap so that the shoes, you know, actually stay on their feet at school.

Adelle tried on several pairs and found four pair that she liked, but nothing she loved. And then... she spotted these

She fell instantly and madly in love with them. I get it. They are very fancy and sparkly. A winning combination for a girl of any age, to be sure. But there's no strap. They would stay on her feet for two seconds and end up driving her and her teachers crazy. I just could not buy these for her.

I tried to break the news gently. Being my child, she immediately burst into tears begging for the shoes. After what felt like an eternity in the Target shoe department with every person in the store watching (but was likely no more than two minutes with a few empathetic moms near by), she took a deep breath and agreed to choose another pair. She already had four pairs picked out that she did like and chose one from the finalists.

In those moments of her crying, I was in agony. As a mother, I wanted to buy her those shoes. I wanted her to enjoy wearing those fancy shoes. But also as her mother, I could not buy them for her. They were not the right choice for school. But it hurt. Oh, it hurt. It hurt us both to walk away from those pretty black shoes.

As my Father, God knows what is best for me. I want the things that sparkle... the things that will make me happy (even if only for a moment). And yes, I bet God loves to see me happy. But He loves me too much to just hand me the things I want. Instead, He provides the things I need, though they don't always sparkle and shine. Such is the heart and true love of a parent.

And you know what? Adelle ended skipping out of Target thrilled to pieces about the shoes she did end up picking.

You know what else? I'm always happy and thankful when God doesn't give me most of what I want, but always gives me everything I need.

If you know my girls at all, you will not be surprised at all by what they did leave with.

Adelle (pink, of course)

Evie (and purple... naturally!)

Summer Fun, Continued

2011-06-29T17:33:00.004-04:00

We actually are still doing fun projects, I just haven't blogged about them... mostly because I just haven't had time to take pictures of them. I know! That is so unlike me. I'll try to get it together. ;)

Last week was filled with all sorts of fun activities: a puppet show, playdate at the park, a fun morning at the lake, swimming with the whole family and Kidzu's Popsicles on the Plaza. Fun! We also made this cookies and cream ice cream which was truly amazing.

I was sick the first half of this week, so we are just now getting out and about for the week. We did our weekly garden check out by Rodger and Angela's this morning. The garden was so happy after a full night of rain, so we weeded, talked to our plants (Adelle: "Squash! You are looking lovely this morning!"), and fertilized with something organic that could probably pass for polyjuice potion. We JUST ran out of homemade pickles yesterday and one of their neighbors had some of his garden goodies out for sale this morning so we scored some organic cukes from the same garden the community shares. Nice. Pickles and some pickled jalapenos are already made and in the fridge. We stopped by the library on the way home this morning, which is always fun.

Adelle and I made (and ate) a particularly yummy batch of guacamole today. And yes, it's already gone. ;)

Family comes in for the weekend on Friday, but we'll probably still head out to the lake to play with new friends on Friday morning. I really will try to take pics this week. I am usually glued to my camera. Just to tide you over, here's a cute shot of the girls from the lake last week.

Puffy Paint!

2011-06-15T11:42:00.003-04:00

Oh man. This was sooooooo fun! I am sure we'll be making puffy paints again. We used neon food coloring and the colors were so pretty! :)

Homemade Graham Crackers

2011-06-14T11:11:00.003-04:00

We went to a playdate yesterday, so didn't do any fun projects... just enjoyed spending time with school friends.

This morning we made graham crackers! They were really easy and the girls especially loved making different shapes with cookie cutters.

FUN!

Summer Sanity

2011-06-08T17:20:00.003-04:00

Inspiration and follow through... yes! I made my own little pinterest board with ideas for the girls and I. I probably won't do an activity every day, but many days each week for sure. I will even come blog about (no, really!).

Today we made homemade fudgesicles and then played outside in the sprinkler seeing as it was about 98 degrees (insert silly boy band jokes here).

popsicle molds filled and the spoon and pot getting "cleaned" ;)

100 Days of Summer

2011-06-07T16:21:00.002-04:00

I found this little gem today - http://pinterest.com/momadvice/100-days-of-summer/

This is only the second week of summer break and we're all going a little crazy already. So, I am going to try to do one of these things every day that it is possible. I will even try to blog about it (I KNOW!). I'll try...

A Good Thought for Today

2011-05-02T13:43:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of one of my heroes, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.

So it goes.

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Bliss and Pain

2011-04-22T15:31:00.002-04:00

In case you've been wondering where I've been...

I had a wonderful appointment with a Naturopath a few weeks ago and I am now feeling better than I have since I was in college. Seriously. It's amazing! (Bliss)

However, whenever my body is trying to reset to a better normal I am plagued with abdominal migraines. It is some of the most intense pain I have ever experienced. I know that they will go away once my body finds a good balance. It's just pushing through the hard part to get better. (Pain)

So that's where I've been - either out living and enjoying life or curled up in a ball riding out the storm of an abdominal migraine.

If you happen to be the praying type, it would be lovely if you'd pray for these to go away. :)

Mumford & Sons

2011-03-28T14:20:00.005-04:00

Yep. It's true love. I am 100% smitten with these boys.

It's been a long while since I've heard music that breaks my heart and makes me want to dance with joy simultaneously. Nice job, boys.

If you haven't fallen in love with Mumford & Sons yet, check them out. <3

A Year in Europe

2011-03-03T15:54:00.006-05:00

I was browsing through my old photo files yesterday and found these from our time in Europe. Thought I'd share a few just for fun. :)

view from our apartment window
Albertville, France

Albertville, France

Giethoorn, Netherlands

Les Beaux de Provence, France

Le Musee d'Orsay
Paris, France

Malodorous (to put it mildly), God-Awful Stench (to call it like it is)

2011-02-22T10:37:00.005-05:00

Ah, bedtime... my favorite time of the day. As I finally worked up the required energy and peeled myself off of the sofa last night and poured myself into bed, I smelled something... off and rather unpleasant. As I lay there, now unable to sleep, I kept trying to figure out what that funky smell in our bedroom was.

Dirty socks? No.
Did one of the cats poop in here or something? No... definitely not a poop smell.
Garbage? Why would our bedroom smell like garbage?
I know that smell, but I can't place it. What is that?
Natural gas? The furnace room is right under our bedroom. No...
*CLICK* Ewwwwwww! Rotting dead animal. What the?!

I knew there was no way a dead animal was actually in our room, but that smell is unmistakable. So, being the brave and industrious woman that I am, I got out of bed and asked my darling husband to go explore the furnace room under the house. You didn't actually expect me to do it, did you? So Jamie went down to the furnace room under the house to explore.

I heard some banging around down there and he came back up to report.

"It is definitely a dead animal but I can't find it."
"So, the smell is just going to get worse?"

Awesome. Well, at least it's not our next door neighbor... that would have been a traumatic discovery.

He returned to the dungeon and came back with a second report. He found it. It crawled into part of a shelf someone started making, couldn't get back out and died.

"What is it?"
"I don't know. Maybe a possum? It's furry and sizable."

Lovely.

My brave manly man trudged back down to the cave to remove the, now discovered, furry and sizable dead creature. More banging around as he pries open the board to access whatever it is that is filling our bedroom with stink. I have already relocated to the guest room for the night. The third, and final, report:

"Did you get it?"
"Yeah. It was pretty nasty."

I didn't ask for details.

A special thank you to my wonderful husband for doing a job I could never have done. If I were alone, I would have had to call someone in for that task. I can handle just about anything (feces, blood, vomit...), but dead animals are beyond my stomach's threshold. Shudder and heave.

You Should Be Angry, Too

2011-01-27T09:48:00.003-05:00

My first response to the following scenario was disbelief, followed by uneasy laughter, and then defeat. 24 hours later, I am left feeling angry. What about you?

I am not sick. I am actually pretty healthy. I do, however, have a bum thyroid that requires daily medication to supplement and yearly bloodwork to make sure my levels are good. This is usually a quick, in and out, type of thing. One quick visit for bloodwork and a ten minute chat and quick check by the doc and I'm good to go for the next year.

But ever since we lost our health insurance a few years ago it has been a major production just to get this done. Like many Americans, we can't afford private health insurance. We can't even afford the insurance that's offered through Jamie's job (even though we are thankful that it is now an option since his job before that didn't even give us that option). We make too much money to qualify for Medicaid because you have to make less than $600 a month to qualify. Seriously. Less than $600 per month. So my other options are pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket to see a private doctor here or go to the health department. Awesome.

So, as I did the year before, I called to make an appointment at the health department. I was told that I can't come in for a "primary care" visit unless I am first a "family planning" patient. What this means is that I first have to schedule an appointment to come in for an unnecessary appointment before I can even make an appointment for what I really need. If you know us at all, you are probably laughing at the thought of me having to go in for a family planning appointment because you know it is ridiculous (and not something I need to be concerned about). So, I not only have to waste my time and energy, as well as some money, to go to this appointment where I will likely be put in a situation where I will be asked to lie simply so that I can qualify to have my bloodwork checked and my prescriptions renewed. After this humiliation, I will then be allowed to make an appointment for what I really NEED to be seen for.

Are you angry yet? If not, keep reading.

This is not only an obscene abuse and misuse of tax money, but it is subjecting me to a humiliating and unnecessary appointment which I will have to pay for.

Still not angry? Okay, try this. My husband works for a doctors' office. Yep. That's right. He works for a doctors' office.

If this isn't proof that our health care system is broken, I don't know what is.

It's Painful, Really.

2010-12-17T17:36:00.003-05:00

If you know me even a little bit you know that I am, well... a bit odd. I'm okay with it. In fact, I kind of like my quirks. But this, THIS, is a glimpse of just how deep the "odd" runs.

I am highly sensory. I especially love colors and textures. You know that scene in Amelie where she talks about loving to put her hands in the barrels of beans? Yeah... that's me. I LOVE stuff like that. But it gets worse. Much, much worse.

Sometimes, when I see something especially pleasing (usually a combination of sublime color and texture) it hurts. It physically hurts it makes me so happy. I know. I told you. In fact, just earlier, I was knitting this up...

... and my chest started hurting. Actually, physically hurting. I am not sick and definitely don't have any sort of heart issue. It just... hurts it's so lovely. The color. The texture. The contrast of colors with the yarn and the needles. It was too much. I even almost cried a little. I wish the photo did both the deep richness of the color and the dense texture justice.

I told you. Please don't judge me.

Musical Beds

2010-12-04T07:44:00.002-05:00

The plan:
Put Evie and Adelle to bed together as usual (in bunk beds).
Jamie and I go to sleep, when we feel like it, as usual (also sharing bed, but not of the bunked variety).

The actual sleeping arrangement last night:
7:00 - Garrett arrives and is put to bed in our guest room by Rodger and Angela. He sleeps soundly until his parents come to pick him up.
7:15 - Evie goes to bed in her room
7:30 - Adelle says she is exhausted and asks if she can go to bed early (of course!).
7:45 - Coughing, whining, and general bedtime nonsense begins in the girls room.
8:15 - Fed up, Jamie and I separate them. The guest room is occupied, so Evie goes into our bed and Adelle stays in hers.

The coughing and whining continues from Adelle. Several homeopathic remedies are given and she still isn't sleeping.

10:15 - The new plan: Jamie goes to bed. Since he isn't feeling well, he will sleep in our bed with Evie until Garrett goes home and then will move to the guest room. I will sleep in bed with Evie.
11:15 - Garrett goes home and Jamie moves over to the guest room.
12:30 - Having stayed up too late goofing around on Facebook, I stumble to bed chastising myself for being up so late when I'm on call.
12:31 - The face smacking, rib kicking, and hair pulling begin... aka sleeping with Evie. It turns out that her inability to be still during waking hours carries through to sleep and she flails constantly. It's like sleeping with the Tasmanian Devil. Also, I am fairly certain she thought I was one of her stuffed animals because she kept winding her fingers in my hair and yanking on it.
12:32-3:00 - A blur of insomnia and cat naps.
3:00 - I hear Adelle get out of bed, so I go check on her. She has to go potty. When she's done I tell her to go hop back into bed and I'll come tuck her in when I'm done going potty, too (since I'm already up and all...). I then go to tuck her in and can't find her... sigh. I check our bed. There she is, snuggled up in my spot.
3:10 - I move Evie back to her own bed, shift Adelle over to Jamie's spot, and go back to bed. There is far less abuse when sleeping with Adelle. In fact, she is finally able to stop coughing, settle in, and sleep.
7:00 - I give up on trying to sleep and leave Adelle sleeping in our bed... where she remains still.

Lessons learned:
Don't try to sleep with Evie. She is snuggly when awake, but NOT when she's sleeping.
When Adelle is sick, DO let her sleep with me. It really does help her feel better and sleep well.
Jamie is a sound sleeper.

Words

2010-11-11T09:27:00.002-05:00

This morning, as Jamie was helping Adelle pick out something to wear, in frustration, Adelle shouted "STUPID!" (followed by the usual four-year-old huffing and puffing).

Now, four year olds are apt to repeat any and everything they hear whether they understand it or not. So, Adelle and I had a little talk this morning about the power of words. She didn't even know what it meant and she heard it on Beauty and the Beast. After watching 101 Dalmations, I am waiting for "idiot" to be next (was that word some sort of strange term of endearment or something??? They sure use it a lot in that movie).

As I was explaining to her that words have great power and that we can use them to either make people feel good or make people feel bad, I was severely convicted. No, I do not make it a habit of saying unkind things or using words that have no other purpose other than hurting people, but sometimes it's not just about the words themselves... sometimes it is also in the delivery. No, I don't yell and I don't berate my children. But sometimes, I'm just not very nice... my tone and my attitude stink.

I have been working on this. Lately, when I feel my frustration building, I close my eyes and take a deep breath and refuse to speak until I get a handle on my tongue, but I really wish I didn't get to that point in the first place. Anyone else out there deal with this? How do you handle your frustration?

A Magical Day

2010-10-23T13:12:00.003-04:00

You know how sometimes the air just feels like it's... well... for lack of a better term, magical? The lighting and location are just right (and no one is melting down or throwing a fit)? Thursday was that kind of day. My camera even caught glimpses of it.

Hmmm... something's missing.

2010-08-22T12:33:00.002-04:00

I decided the legwarmers needed a little something... like a hat.

Done.

My First Non-Scarf Knitting Project

2010-08-21T09:47:00.003-04:00

I just finished the cutest little baby legwarmers for a baby shower gift. I think they turned out super cute. They tested my resolve (about nine times), but I am glad I stuck with it. As it turns out, it wasn't a problem so much with my knitting that required all the restarts, but with my ability to do simple division (44 divided equally onto 3 needles in sets of 4 stitches = 16, 12, 16).

I made them a little longer than the pattern called for and will probably tweak it just a little more the next time I make them.

Now to crank out a crocheted baby blanket in the next week and a half.

DONA

2010-08-17T20:43:00.001-04:00

I got word today that I am officially certified by DONA as a birth doula. YAY!

To celebrate, I am launching my new website - www.jo4joyfulbirth.com.

TU ES MERVEILLEUX

2010-08-11T10:16:00.004-04:00

I am not a French speaker. My brain is hardwired for English and despite my sincere attempts at four different foreign languages, none of them has stuck. I tried. Really, I did.

So, imagine my surprise last night when, as I was lying in bed, I started thinking about this French worship song I learned seven years ago. Almost all the words were still there, intact, swirling around in this faintly still-familiar tune. I remember it was always my favorite French worship song in chapel when I attended the CEF in Albertville.

This song, which was unearthed from some deep recess in my mind... I started to think about why I loved it so much and why it would be brought back to me now. The premise of the song is to praise God for all that He has done for us. Each verse ends in the phrase, "Tu es merveilleux dans tout ce que tu fais" (or "You are marvelous in all that You do"). But here's the part I love, the real reason this song resonates from my very soul when I even think of it - the song ends with the crescendo and boom of the subtly different, "Oh! tu es merveilleux dans tout ce que tu es" ("You are marvelous in all that you are").

Praising God for what He does and who He is are two very different things.

Yes, He has saved us. Yes, He blesses us. Yes, He loves us. But our praise often falls to a stop here. We praise Him for the things that affect us, personally, which I don't think is a bad thing. It's good to recognize God's work in our lives, be it for salvation or more everyday miracles, like provision, sustenance, and patience. But sometimes we forget to praise Him for who He is as well. What He does is meant to lead us into praise for who He is. Plain and simple. So, Jo (and anyone else who chooses to join with me):

Don't praise the gift, praise the Giver.
Don't marvel at the healed body/mind/heart, marvel at the Healer.
Don't worship the provision, worship the Provider.
Don't thank the glass of water, thank the Wellspring from whence it came.
Don't stand in awe of the fruit, stand in awe of the Vine which produces the fruit.

Oh ! tu es merveilleux dans tout ce que tu es!
Mon père et mon sauveur,
Mon ami et mon Seigneur;
Tu es merveilleux dans tout ce que tu es!

A Conversation with God

2010-08-10T08:41:00.007-04:00

This post is going to be one of my more 'soul-baring' ones, so if that makes you uncomfortable, you might like to just move on. You've been warned.

The other night I was asked to step in to an official leadership role with my church. My initial response was "sure!". But then I actually started to think about it. My last attempts at anything in the 'leadership' category have been anything but successful. In fact, on more than one occasion, the people have ended up with hurt feelings and/or hating me. I really love this church... I don't really want them to hate me. So this is where we pick up our story.

The scene: Me, on my face, on the floor sobbing as the full weight of this hits me.

Me: God, Please. I don't want to be a leader. I am not a leader. I can't do this. People will hate me and I will hurt the church. Is that really what You want? Please. I am NOT a leader. I know I told You 13+ years ago that You could do anything you wanted with my life, but this is not what I had in mind. I don't want to do this.

God: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up there, Jo. Can you seek Me?

Me: I don't really think this is the time to bring up my inconsistency, God. I am pouring my heart out here about not wanting to be a leader. Can't we talk about that first?

God: Jo, can you seek Me?

Me: Well, yeah. I mean I do. Not as often as I'd like throughout my day, but yes. But, God, I don't WANT to be a leader!

God: Can you listen?

Me: What? Now? I am listening.

God: Can you listen to Me?

Me: I do.

God: Can you listen to others?

Me: Now we're going to bring up my weaknesses? I'm working on it, God. Honestly, I am. I am trying to be a better listener.

God: Can you serve others?

Me: Of course.

God: Can you love them?

Me: I already do.

God: Then call it whatever you want, Jo. That's all I'm looking for here.

Me: Silence.

Does God know how to shut me up or what?

I am terrified. Honestly. I shake when I think about it too much. I am not confident at all when it comes to this and there will certainly be a large amount of bumbling along in the beginning. But it has been my experience that when God asks you to do something, it is actually for your own benefit, so it's best that you hop to it.

So, reluctantly (I hope you know what you're doing, God)... hop.

Maybe I do just have an issue with the word "leader", especially when applied to me. It conjures up past words that were associated with that. Words that still hurt. Woman + Leader does not always equal Kind Words.

*Disclaimer - I really wrestled with whether I should post this or not. I never want anyone to think I'm being all "Hey look at me. I'm a leader". Blech. That is really, really, really not the purpose here. I felt it was important for me to personally document this moment in my life as well as share an open and truly honest account with others. So, if for some odd reason, you previously thought that I have it all together, you can safely assume otherwise now. I am usually one step away from falling apart at any given moment of any given day.

The Rain King

2010-07-16T09:21:00.003-04:00

The Oteros and I went to see Counting Crows (with Augustana and Notar) last night. The concert format was a little different in that all the artists played off and on throughout the whole night. While there were some truly lovely collaborations, it just kept throwing us off. We were craving a long stretch of uninterrupted Counting Crows, and we were left feeling a little unsatisfied at the end of the night. But a night outside with Counting Crows is still better than most other nights, so I'll take it. They did play Omaha, Sundays (awesome performance), A Long December, and Angels of the Silences from my faves list, so all is well. The best part of the night was Adam mentioning that he just found out that there was a snow cone machine back stage. Someone then brought him one while he was playing A Long December, which, as he put it was the ONE song his hands were not free for. He then rambles on about snow cones and completely loses his place in the song. So funny.

I learned a few things last night at the show:
1. Koka Booth Ampitheatre is a spectacular little venue. I want to see many, many more shows there.
2. Adam Duritz really is amazing. That guy can sing like crazy. I want to stalk him just a little bit.
3. Any show where you can take your shoes off in the lawn is going to be pretty great.
4. If someone on stage inserts the "F" word into the middle of any sentence, the crowd will all yell "WOO!" every time, usually with beer cups raised.
5. Drunk white people really can't dance... and when the girl next to you starts doing the "drunk white girl shimmy", it's time to go home.

This Weekend in My Kitchen

2010-07-11T14:08:00.017-04:00

I love summer and all the fresh fruits and veggies that come with it. This weekend I found myself with a surplus of cherries and cucumbers. Here's what I made (with help from little hands, as well):

Crunchy Refrigerator Dills
4 to 5 pounds firm cucumbers (the smaller in diameter, the better)
2 t dill seed, or 12 to 15 heads of fresh dill (fresh dill is better)
10 or so black pepper corns
a s hake or two of turmeric
1 tsp mustard seeds
pinch of red chili flakes
4 cloves of garlic

Wash cucumbers. Cut in half lengthwise. Seed if larger, and cut again lengthwise or however many times to get desired spear width. Cut in half crosswise, if necessary, to create 4 inch long spears. Alternatively cut smaller diameter cucumbers into 3/8-inch thick slices. Layer cucumbers, garlic, spices, and fresh dill if in as many quart canning jars with lids as you need (we usually end up with two or three).

Pickling Solution:
6 cups water
2 cups white vinegar
1/2 cup pickling/canning salt

Bring ingredients for the pickling solution to a boil. Turn off heat. Pour hot vinegar solution over cucumbers. Use wooden skewers to keep cucumbers below brine. Let the mixture rest with lid open on kitchen counter for 3 or 4 hours covered with a clean flour sack towel. Close lids. Refrigerate. Pickles are ready to eat in 2 to 4 days and will keep for about a year.

Mini Cherry Pies
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup shortening
1/2 cup cold water
1 pinch salt
or one pack of store-bought, refrigerated pie crust

2 pounds cherries, pitted
1 1/8 cups white sugar
4 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon butter
1/4 teaspoon almond extract

1 egg white
1/4 c sugar

Prepare a 12 muffin pan by placing small pieces of foil into the bottom only of each spot. Spray with non-stick spray.

In a large bowl, combine flour and salt. Cut in the shortening until pea sized. Stir in water until mixture forms a ball. Divide dough in half and shape into balls. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight. Roll each ball flat. Use a small bowl to serve as a template for cutting 5-6 inch circles to serve as bottom crusts for your pies. Place circles into prepared muffins pans and gently roll down rims to form a thicker edge crust.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C.) In a saucepan, combine cherries, sugar and cornstarch. Let sit for about 10 minutes. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Lower the heat and simmer for 5 minutes or until the juices thicken and become translucent. Remove from heat and stir in the butter and almond extract. Mix thoroughly and pour into pie crusts.

Use the scraps of the remaining dough to cut tops for the pies using a cookie cutter.

Brush the tops of the pies with egg white, sprinkle with sugar, and bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes, or until crust is golden brown.

Plum Butter

2010-07-05T15:40:00.008-04:00

What do you do when you have a plum tree completely covered in ripe plums? Pick them and make plum butter, of course!

Aren't these the prettiest little plums? This is but a tiny fraction of what we picked.

Peel and seed your plums until you get 6 cups of fruit bits. Place this in a pot. Slice open 1 vanilla bean and scrape the contents into the pan with the plum innards. Cook it on medium heat, uncovered, until it breaks down, reduces, and turns into a thicker, 'butter' consistency (a few hours). Stir in about 1/2 cup sugar (to taste). Voila!

Was that stupid easy or what?

See the tiny vanilla bean flecks? Mmmmm!

kid approved

To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo?

2010-06-18T15:05:00.003-04:00

That is the question.

Jamie got a beautiful new tattoo last night and now I want another one, too. Sigh. I would go for it (I already know what I'd get), but I just don't see myself as a tattoo kind of person anymore. I think I'm too old and too uncool (you know... too much of a mom) to pull it off. I just keep having flashes of me dressed as the mother of the bride for my girls' weddings and I've got old gnarly tattoos showing.

What to do? What to do?

2010-06-06T10:09:00.004-04:00

Well, I mailed off my doula certification requirements this past week. Now I just have to wait and hope they certify me. I still can hardly believe that people pay me to do something I love. Between classes and my work as a doula, I am very fulfilled. It is just what I need to be a better mother and wife. Don't get me wrong, I love the titles of "Mommy" and "Hey Jo" (from Jamie), but sometimes it's nice to be just "Jo" and to be valued for things other than my ability to wipe little bottoms or keep the carpets from sprouting growth. Ya know?

So, we're on summer hiatus now. No homegroup, no preschool, and only one class per week. It's a little strange to have empty time. I'm struggling not to fill it with something else. I desperately need the break, but I am so used to going nonstop that it will take some time to adjust to a slower pace.

In other exciting news (ha ha ha... because my life is just soooo thrilling), I am going to see Counting Crows in July. HAPPY, HAPPY ME!

So, yeah. That's life here these days. And you wonder why I don't blog more often.

Summer Break

2010-05-24T09:36:00.001-04:00

Adelle is now on Summer Break from preschool.

Day One: Now what do we do?

A Mother's Day Gift

2010-05-06T08:56:00.002-04:00

Adelle made me a gift in preschool yesterday for Mother's Day. It's a book that had fill in the blank sentences (which her teachers must have asked her about and filled in the answers). She also drew pictures to go with each page. It's awesome! Here's why:

I've got to hand it to you, Mom.
My favorite thing to do with Mom is: Color with her.
My Mom likes to: Cook.
My Mom is good at: Not playing around at the table. (Awesome! I think.)
My Mom smells like: Candy. (Woo hoo!)

Being a mom is great.

The Curse of Being Busy, Relayed in Choppy Disarray

2010-04-21T09:12:00.005-04:00

If I just had a few more minutes in my days I could blog more... but if I weren't as busy I would have very little fodder for blogging. So I'm stuck with blogging here and there and I'm afraid you're stuck right long with me.

I attended my first birth for my DONA doula certification. It was lovely. Mom and Dad were a beautiful team, Mom was so strong and amazing, and their baby is precious. It is always so special to be a part of such an important time in people's lives. I pray that I bring peace, joy, and comfort to every birth I attend. I have two more births coming up in the next month or so.
I started a new series of classes a few weeks ago and have a packed-out room/series with four couples this time. They are all so fun and I look forward to Tuesday nights each week.

Adelle's birthday has come and gone in a blur. I can't believe she's four.. and Evie's second birthday is next week! Mary, Carmen, and Leo flew in for the week last Tuesday and we had lots of fun being together and celebrating Adelle and Carmen's birthdays. Adelle even had a birthday party on Saturday which was a lot of fun. We chose a gardening theme this year and had lots of fun painting pots and digging in the dirt (the flower cupcakes weren't bad either).

I got some of the garden in this past week and will get the rest of it in this weekend. Up this year: tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, blueberries, blue pumpkins, carrots, green beans, gourds (for bird houses), watermelons, corn, sunflowers, and various happy flowers around the yard. I would love to put in a few pepper plants, too. We'll see if I can squeeze them in. :)

I forgot just how happy my garden makes me. I wasn't able to have one last year (what with all the moving and such). I still don't ever tire of checking in with my garden and finding something new: seeds sprouting, new leaves, flower buds, baby fruit, veggies ripening... it is a thrill each time. In fact, some of my strawberries are already turning pink and I can't wait to eat our first ripe berries this year.

So now life has 'settled' back down a bit. I'm still ridiculously busy, but on a scale that I am accustomed to. My body is worn out and ready for a lazy day. So I will go chug an Emergen-C (click the link and get some free samples) and rest with my girls today... at least until homegroup tonight.

Easter 2010 Family Photo

2010-04-05T07:54:00.003-04:00

This is as good as it's going to get. :)

What's Going On

2010-04-03T12:33:00.002-04:00

Well, apologies are in order. I've slacked on the blog again and an update is overdue.

I completed my DONA doula certification workshop two weeks ago and am still struggling to get back into the swing of things. I am already on call for a doula client and am looking forward to working with them . Because of confidentiality, I can't tell you anything about them, but I can say that I absolutely LOVE this couple and can't wait to be a part of their birth.

My classes are still going as well. I have a private class for one couple until the end of May and am starting up a new twelve-week series for three couples on Tuesday.

I love my 'work'. I hate to even call it work because I love doing it so much. I'm a happy, thankful girl.

German Doughnuts

2010-03-14T09:12:00.005-04:00

The story goes, my mom's college roommate's mom used to make these for them when they were in school. I was recently blessed with the original recipe card that my mom got from her friend's mom back then with this amazing recipe on it. I made them for my family this morning and they scarfed them up. Success! The key is to get the oil temperature just right. You should have a light, fluffy doughnut that is not greasy at all.

German Doughnuts
Dissolve 1 package of yeast into 1/2 cup warm water in a medium to large sized bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar to this. Set aside.
In a small saucepan, scald 2 cups of milk. Add 1 cup of sugar and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Remove from heat and let cool to luke warm. Add milk mixture to yeast mixture. Add 4 eggs, beaten. *Optional* Add 1 cup raisins. Add enough flour to form a thick, sticky batter, not a firm dough (about 4 cups). It should not be runny, but should also not hold a shape (think muffin batter).

Drop by spoonfuls into 1 1/2 - 2 inches of hot oil and let cook until very brown on the outside, otherwise they will still be raw inside... can't tell you how I know this... I just do ;). Flip them over if they don't flip themselves.

Remove from oil with slotted spoon and let cool for about 1 minute on a paper lined plate. Roll in sugar, powdered sugar, or cinnamon sugar and eat while they're still warm.

You can either make this dough the morning of or the night before. If making the night before, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and leave in the fridge. The batter will rise a bit, but not much. Even so, make sure your bowl is big enough so there's a little room left. :) Enjoy!

Signs of Spring

2010-03-10T14:18:00.002-05:00

Happy me.

A Dream

2010-03-04T09:24:00.001-05:00

It has been my dream for the past few years to get my DONA doula certification. I always thought I'd have to wait until the girls were much older since this work will require me to up and leave on short notice at any point during the day. And while Jamie and I still don't know how we'll work the schedule out, we both feel like now is the right time for me to pursue this. In fact, truth be told, it is because of Jamie's support and encouragement that I am doing this now. He is so great and if not for him, I don't know if this crazy dream of mine would ever become a reality.He believes in me and is willing to do whatever it takes for me to pursue this passion of mine... caring for pregnant and laboring couples (I say couples because I support Dads, too... just in different ways).

So, I am officially registered in the DONA workshop at the end of the month, my prerequisites are all mostly done already (thank you, Bradley certification) and after I finish the workshop, I just have a paper to write and three births to attend. Woo hoo! I am hoping to be fully certified this summer sometime.

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Church: No Thinking Allowed?

2010-02-19T17:14:00.006-05:00

Dear person driving in front of me with the following bumper sticker,

What if I want you to think?

I haven't stopped thinking about this yet. It just struck me as such a significant overview of what people often think of when they think of "church".

Still thinking...

SNOW!

2010-01-30T11:17:00.005-05:00

What else is there to do on a fun snow day other than 1) playing outside 2) watching your favorite movies (we are currently watching Curious George) 3) drinking hot chocolate and 4) making snow ice cream?

"Snow ice cream, you say?" Why yes! Snow ice cream. My Nana used to make it. Here's how (it's super easy, really).

Ingredients
one bowl of fresh, clean snow
sugar
milk (I used some half and half and some milk)
vanilla

Sprinkle the snow with the sugar and add a little bit of vanilla. Now slowly add milk until it forms a soft ice cream texture. Voila!

And now, for your cute snow play enjoyment, I give you... my adorable children playing outside. :)

Happy Snow Day everyone!

Bridget's Monkey

2010-01-29T14:58:00.003-05:00

I know, I know, I know. I swore that I was not going to make any more monkeys. However, Adelle is invited to her first ever friend-from-school birthday party on Sunday and Bridget needs a gift. My mom suggested that I make a monkey and as much as I didn't want to, I knew it would be a great gift (Moms really are always right). So...

I love her fancy shoes. :)

Her Own Sense of Style

2010-01-17T12:47:00.005-05:00

Adelle is many wonderful things, highly creative being one of them. It is my responsibility as her mother to not only refrain from squelching this in any way, but to encourage her to explore this and to nurture it.

One of the ways she likes to express her creativity, and herself, is with her clothing. I think we all do this. We wear what makes us feel good and what we feel represents who we are. Adelle doesn't go the whole 'matching' approach when it comes to putting together an ensemble. Instead, she chooses the things that appeal to her aesthetic. If she likes it, she wears it.

Today, this is what she chose to wear.

I have to confess that it was a little painful at first, but I just smiled and told her that she can wear whatever (seasonally appropriate) clothing she wants and if she likes that outfit together, then go for it!

While I never would have matched a grey and hot pink dress with heathered cream, orange, and brown floral tights, but it works on her.

Maybe I need to take a little lesson from her - go with your gut and enjoy the things you like, whether other people get it or not... just be yourself.

I love this funny little girl more every day as I get to know her better and better. She is such a lovely, free spirit unhindered by others' opinions or approval.

The Process of Art

2010-01-14T10:04:00.002-05:00

I think my head just might explode.

I go through this every time. The pain of turning idea into reality is a painful one for me. I know exactly what I want to do, but get bogged down in details and overwhelmed before I even begin. Grrr...

A little time to myself would probably help. Ha ha ha ha ha... Yeah right. Sorry... that's probably only funny to other stay at home moms.

Low

2010-01-08T15:47:00.005-05:00

One of my earliest memories is of lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling. I have no idea how old I was seeing as this is something I did fairly often as a child. I always loved the perspective of things from below. It triggered something that set my imagination on "run wild" mode.

Truth be told, I've never gotten over this. When I am tired or stressed, I like to get back to the floor again and just enjoy the view. I find it so relaxing, especially in a quiet room with an abundance of sunlight.

This was my view today:

Simple Pleasures

2010-01-06T09:16:00.003-05:00

The birds that have FINALLY found my window feeder
A quiet morning at home with just Evie
Hot coffee on a cold morning
A kitty snuggled in my lap
Still sitting around in my jammies
Sunshine filling the playroom
Black bean soup for dinner
Friends that double as family coming over for home group tonight

It's going to be a great day.

A Werewolf in the Shower

2009-12-29T13:00:00.001-05:00

According to Adelle, a werewolf sneaks into our house and uses our shower. I ask her how she knows and she brings me to the bathroom, points to the tub, and says, "See all its hair?".

Odd. All I see is my hair all over the tub.

Wait...

Christmas Week

2009-12-21T10:30:00.002-05:00

Art projects
Making "Christmas Dinner" in the play kitchen
Watching videos
Christmas theme shaped pretzels
Hot Chocolate
The Polar Express
Christmas carols
Making and decorating cookies
Opening the last row of doors on the advent boxes
Christmas food, including our annual hors d'oeuvres dinner on Christmas Eve (more on that in a later post)
Good friends
Family visits

These are a few of our favorite things.

Adelle is out of school for the next few weeks so we'll be doing a lot of numbers 1-3, I think. :)

Getting Back to Fun

2009-12-16T21:47:00.003-05:00

As promised in my last post, I'm back to fun and random. Thanks for humoring my little trip into the deep end.

Adelle has been sick for about two weeks now (fun!). On Friday evening, she was hit with a super high fever (103 - YIKES!) that I could not get to go down. So, since her symptoms never went away from her cold before, I figured it had probably turned into an infection. Of course, these things only hit on Friday nights. So, I took her to the ER. While the UNC ER does have a fantastic Pediatric ER and we were in and out in an hour and a half, the docs must be used to overly cautious parents who bring their kids in for a cold. They didn't do any tests and just sent her home saying she had a virus. So, all weekend long we pumped tylenol AND motrin into her (I hate giving her so much medicine) just to try and keep her fever below 103, which we managed to do off and on. She wouldn't eat anything, barely drank, and kept falling asleep on the sofa and wanted to snuggle with me (I know! Adelle wanted to snuggle... she was really that sick). So I got her in to the pediatrician on Monday morning and after an hour of tears and various tests we ruled out the flu (in any form) and strep. It turns out that Mom does know best as she had a terrible sinus infection. After 24 hours on her first ever round of antibiotics (not bad going over three and a half years without needing it) she was perked up, fever-free, eating and drinking, and playing again. Whew! She made it to her last day of school before Christmas break and was so happy she did. So, now we are all working on getting back to having fun and living our (sometimes boring) lives. Ahhhh...

My Other Babies

2009-12-07T14:56:00.004-05:00

Warning: This will be a bit heavy. Don't continue reading if you are looking for fun and silliness. It's not here today.

As I was journaling earlier I spent some time reading over old entries before I moved on to something else. I happened to read an entry that was written almost five years ago... when I first found out I was pregnant for the first time. A few entries later and I was journaling about that painful loss. Then later, on Mother's Day 2005, God named that baby. It wasn't something I was looking for or even wanting, but He did it. I remember being in the church service in Fes and every time I would tell God how much I miss 'my baby', I would hear in response, "Joshua". It brought me great peace as I remembered that Joshua means, 'Jehovah saves'. Indeed, He does.

Fast forward two and a half years, just around the time of Adelle's first birthday. I found out I was pregnant again only to lose her a week later. That night, I lay in bed and I asked God for her name. What I thought He said was "Emily", which means 'admiring'. That made no sense to me and it remained a mystery until today. As I was reading over these old entries, I was suddenly struck by a thought... and I felt it might be from God. I went to school with a girl named Emmalee. I wonder... I just looked up those two names and burst into tears. Emma means 'universal' and Lee means 'sheltered from the storm'. Yes, my little girl is fully sheltered from the storm. Awesome. They sound alike, but it was the wrong name all these years. I am so thankful to God for clearing this up for me. I really needed that today.

I promise to return next time with more silliness and mundane details of my life.

Sunday Morning

2009-12-06T09:20:00.002-05:00

I love Sunday mornings. And I love Greenleaf for evening church service (amongst other things). Sleeping in, checking email, reading the paper, enjoying a cup (or three) of coffee... that's a good morning.

Lest you think I don't put as much thought or energy into raising Evie, here is her temperament's link at the the same blog that I posted about previously. She's a pretty easy little thing. Those Phlegmatics are just easy to be around. We'll see how easy it is in a few years when she has chores to do and I'd like to know what's going on in her little world. :)

My coffee is calling.

The Melancholic Mother

2009-12-01T22:46:00.002-05:00

I just finished a series of classes tonight with the best couples ever! I am going to miss them terribly. I get so attached to my couples over the course of the twelve weeks we're in class together. It will be strange not seeing them each week.

I read an interesting blog post today about the Melancholic Child. Seeing as I am a Melancholic Mother to a Melancholic Child, it can get, well, emotional around here for lack of a better/more positive term. After reading this, I am trying to incorporate more silliness into our days for both our sakes. Day One was a major success!

Tomorrow I get to go snuggle baby Garrett... I mean, visit with Rodger and Angela. :) Man I love that family... a new baby to snuggle doesn't hurt either.

I made the girls' Christmas dresses today during nap time. I actually wasn't going to make any this year, but Adelle desperately wanted a Christmas dress. So with a very small budget, we went to Walmart and picked out fabric to make casual little dresses with patterns I already have. Adelle picked out blue snowman fabric, which works out well because they can wear them all winter long now instead of just at Christmas. I picked out snowflake buttons and blue thread and for less than $10, I made both dresses. Woo hoo! Thank you, Walmart. I don't really like you, but you fit my budget. If I can get the girls to be still long enough tomorrow, I will try to post a picture or two of the dresses.

Why We Can't Have Chickens

2009-11-20T14:43:00.002-05:00

Well, besides the fact that they're illegal within the city limits of Chapel Hill (for now).

We have a little fox who lives in our back yard. He decided to come out and play in the sun a bit this afternoon. I should probably dislike him, but he's sooooo cute! I can't help it.

A Little More Random

2009-11-19T08:39:00.002-05:00

Adelle got a harmonica yesterday from a birthday party in her class. She loves it, which I get. It is very cool. However, first thing in the morning, before coffee, it makes me want to hurt myself just a little.

And Evie? Evie put a piece of cat poop in her mouth this morning. EWWWWWW. Jamie caught her right away, got it out of her mouth and scrubbed her mouth clean. But still... EWWWWW. I have also finally discovered Evie's quirk. Adelle's was obvious - as soon as she was mobile, she was picking fuzz off the carpet. She still defuzzes her crocheted blanket and holds it while she sucks her thumb at bedtime. Evie, however, has started rearranging the furniture. I am assuming she has an intuitive sense of Feng Shui and is trying to help our home be a little more zen. God knows we could use a little more zen around here. Although, she would do more to up my personal zen meter by not eating things she discovers on the ground... such as cat poop that has somehow escaped the litter box. I'm just sayin'.

A Little Bit of Random

2009-11-16T14:19:00.002-05:00

I almost never blog these days because not too much is going on that I would consider to be blog worthy. But some of my favorite posts on other blogs are not really important, they are just the random little goings-on that make up life. So, friends, I will try to blog more often... even if it means that all you get to read about if how many cups of coffee I've had today (only one... amazing!).

I only have two weeks left with my current Bradley class and I start another series tonight. I am going to miss the two couples in my almost-finished class something terrible! They are both so wonderful and if it wouldn't cross all bounds of professionalism, I would totally be friends with them. Such as it is, though... sigh. I hope I click with my two new couples tonight, too.

Adelle and Evie's birth stories have been 'published' online here.

I love the dollar spot at Target. I scored stocking stuffers, cute wrapping paper, Christmas headbands for the girls, and a calendar there today. Nice. I need to take photos of the girls soon for our Christmas cards, but can't figure out where to do them at. You know what one of my biggest problems is? I put way too much time, thought, and energy into EVERYTHING I do. Including where to take photos of my children. Sigh.

Ah well, enough randomness for today. The dirty bathrooms are calling my name. No really. They are. They sound like old lady smokers.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T22:00:00.006-04:00

We had a very fun Halloween this year. Both girls got to trick or treat and fun was had by all.

No surprise that Adelle wanted to be a bride since Aunt Alyssa just got married last weekend. :)

Our little Pooh bear (last year she was Tigger. I'm seeing a trend here).

Mommy and her sweet girls

We also had some great family photos taken this morning by a local photographer. Check them out if you wanna.

Oh, thank you for my AZ

2009-10-28T09:06:00.008-04:00

Well, we're back in NC now and mostly recovered from the best wedding I've ever been to (mine included, but that one's easy to trump). To all you single ladies out there - when it's your turn to get married, find a wedding venue that does pretty much everything for you. You will be glad you did. Alyssa got married at the lovely Regency Garden and it was the easiest, stress-free wedding ever. Thank you, RG. Everything was spectacular.

We kicked off wedding week with the rehearsal and dinner about three hours after we arrived in AZ. It was fun. We at at Rustler's Rooste (and my kids both tried rattlesnake. I kid you not). Lovely views overlooking the city.

Thursday was visit with Kristen day! It was so fun to see her again (come visit sometime, Kristen!). It was also mani-pedi day. My stepmom cried for the first time about the upcoming wedding as we were all sitting together waiting for our nails to dry (she was happy we were all together). Thursday night was the bachelorette party. Kelsey, Alyssa, and I enjoyed a fun dinner at BJ's (Get the hefeweizen. It's the best. As Kelsey put it, "It's like drinking a loaf of bread". Delish!). Afterward, we surprised Lyss by taking her to Dave and Busters where we got her all gussied up like a bachelorette and met some of her friends there. Since Alyssa couldn't drink, she got to pick all of Kelsey's drinks for the night. It was way fun and we learned that for every drink Kelsey has, her volume raises one decibel.

Friday was a chill day. All the out of town family came over for dinner on Friday. The sisters and I watched YouTube videos in the livingroom. This is the best one, hands down.

Saturday was wedding day. Chris (the hairdresser, not the groom) came over and did everyone's hair. We just had fun getting ready together. We then went to the wedding location, got dresses, took a few pictures and got Chris (the groom, not the hairdresser) and Alyssa hitched. The dj for the reception was THE BEST EVER. The garter was my favorite part. First off, Chris did his homework and came up with a hilarious act for getting the garter (Lyss had no idea what he was going to do). He unbuttoned his jacket, walked around her, then went under the dress to get the garter. Only he came out with a red thong. Ha ha ha! Alyssa turned one shade of red. The dj sent him back to find the garter and he came back out with handcuffs! Alyssa turned five more shades of red and my Nana laughed so hard I thought she was going to fall off her chair. The third time was the charm and he came out with the garter. All the singles guys then lined up to catch it and four were chosen to 'compete a bit'. They were given small basketball hoops with a ball hung from it by a string to buckle around their waist. They then had to score as many points as possible without using their hands. Shaking hips and pelvic thrusts ensued. I seriously laughed so hard I thought I might pass out. Good times.

Kelsey drank an entire bottle of champagne. We took silly photos, rode in the limo home, and Kelsey fell out. Classy. ;)

So now we're home and I miss my west coast family. Come visit soon guys! And congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Bargren.

When life gives you apples...

2009-10-09T22:55:00.008-04:00

you make 12 quarts of applesauce, five batches of apple pie filling for the freezer, four batches of sliced apples for the freezer (for apple crisp... YUM!), four gallon-sized bags of dried apples, and two loaves of apple bread. That's what.

I still have half a box left, but will be making said loaves of apple bread plus another batch of dried apples tomorrow. That ought to finish them up nicely.

I've had several people ask me for my recipe for applesauce. It's not so much of a recipe as it is a process, but here goes:

Peel, core, and slice apples.

Place them in the biggest pot you can find (and add any other fruit you'd like. Here we have the makings of a primo batch of strawberry-raspberry applesauce). Add a bit of fruit fresh to prevent browning, if you like. Add about 1 cup of water, just to prevent the apples from drying out or sticking to the bottom of the pot. Cook the fruit down until it is very soft. (You can also cook them in the crockpot all day or overnight if you've got the time).

Run the cooked apples through a food mill. If you don't have a food mill, you have three options: 1- use a potato masher for chunky applesauce, 2 - use a blender for very smooth, baby food-like applesauce, or 3 - borrow my mill.

Now either put the applesauce in the fridge or can it. I opted to can it since we won't be needing ALL that applesauce just now.

Voila. Applesauce. I believe this is plain, blueberry, and cinnamon applesauce here.

Guess what I'll be doing this week?

2009-10-04T13:00:00.003-04:00

Yep. Thanks to my Gramps for his super awesome apple trees (and generosity) as well as my step dad for driving them down to us, I'll be happily busy with various apple preserving projects. On the menu so far are applesauce, blueberry applesauce (requested by Adelle), dried apples, and probably sliced apples to freeze for apple crisp as well. YUM.

Thank goodness for an electric apple peeler.

Why?

2009-09-29T10:57:00.003-04:00

This is a common question heard around our house these days. Adelle is three and a half which means that the 'why' stage is in full effect. I've heard many grumbles of irritation over this from other preschool parents and I have to admit, I only find it mildly annoying (like when she asks 'why' to a question she already knows the answer to). In most cases, I find it refreshing and thought provoking.

I think our society is often afraid to ask 'why'. We just shuffle along and do as we're told feigning shock and outrage at those to flow against the stream. All the while, inside, I believe there is something that respects those who dare to ask 'why'. Why means thinking for oneself; sorting through the piles of opinions of what is right, wrong, acceptable, cool, successful, important, etc. I think most of us would do well to ask ourselves a few more why questions more often.

Why do I believe what I do?
Why do I spend my money as I do?
Why do I prioritize the things in my life as they are?
Why?

It's a good 'stage' to go through the rest of our lives. I hope Adelle never stops questioning or thinking for herself. Maybe this is one of the reasons Jesus told his disciples that they should be like children... healthy curiosity.

Sigh

2009-09-17T21:53:00.001-04:00

I'm feeling a little down these days. Of course, 'down' could also be any of the following: lonely, hormonal, tired, over-extended, or insecure.

Not sure, though.

The Jesus Storybook Bible

2009-09-10T19:14:00.005-04:00

A few years ago, Adelle received The Jesus Storybook Bible for her birthday. It was a little ahead of where she was, so we set it on her bookshelf and left it for a time. Today, Adelle pulled it off the shelf and asked if we could read it. It was the first time I really sat down and paid it the attention that it deserves.

It is, in a word, magnificent. Sally Lloyd-Jones has written a children's paraphrase version of the Bible from the angle of grace, mercy, and hope. Truly, "every story whispers Jesus' name".

Not only is it beautifully written, the illustrations are stunning. Truly, I cannot wait to read more of this with Adelle (and will probably read it by myself, as well). Whether you have kids or not, get a copy and enjoy!

Here are the opening few paragraphs to whet your appetite.

God wrote, "I love you" - he wrote it in the sky, and on the earth, and under the sea. He wrote his message everywhere! Because God created everything in his world to reflect him like a mirror - to show us what he is like, to help us know him, to make our hearts sing.

The way a kitten chases her tail. The way red poppies grow wild. The way a dolphin swims.

And God put it into words, too, and wrote it in a book called, "the Bible."

Now, some think the Bible is a book of rules, telling you what you should and shouldn't do. The Bible certainly does have some rules in it. They show you how life works best. But the Bible isn't mainly about you and what you should be doing. It's about God and what he has done.

Other people think the Bible is a book of heroes, showing you people you should copy. The Bible does have some heroes in it, but (as you'll soon find out) most of the people in the Bible aren't heroes at all. They make some big mistakes (sometimes on purpose). They get afraid and run away. At times they are downright mean.

No, the Bible isn't a book of rules, or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all a Story. It's an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It's a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne - everything - to rescue the one he loves. It's like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life!

You see, the best thing about this Story is - it's true.

There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one Big Story. The Story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them.

Whole Grain Bagels

2009-09-08T14:20:00.005-04:00

After several years of making our own bread, I decided to take the plunge and attempt homemade bagels. I had always heard the process hyped up as being tedious and fussy. What I found was that they were super easy to make and well-worth the time and effort. What I ended up with was two dozen small whole grain bagels that were chewy and soft. Dreamy. If you have any experience at all with bread making, you will also be surprised by how easy these are to make.

Whole Grain Bagels
2 2/3 cups bread flour
1 cup whole wheat flour (red wheat for those of you who might mill your own)
2 1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 tsp yeast (one packet)
3 Tbsp honey
3 Tbsp butter, melted
1 cup 10-grain hot cereal mix
2 cups boiling water
1/2 cup unsalted, roasted sunflower seeds (optional) *I used a handful of flax seeds instead
wheat germ for topping (also optional)

In a medium bowl, add boiling water to the hot cereal and stir to mix. Stir every so often until it resembles a porridge and is just warm and not hot (110 deg). This could take anywhere from 10-20 minutes depending on how warm/cool your house is. Stir in the melted butter and the honey.

While you are waiting for your porridge to cool, combine the bread flour, whole wheat flour, yeast, salt, and seeds in a bowl.

wet and dry ingredients ready to be combined

When the porridge is ready, add it to the dry ingredients and combine to form a ball of dough. Turn this out onto a floured work surface and knead for about 10 minutes, or until it is smooth and elastic. Place the dough into an oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let this rise in a warm place. (I like to turn my oven on for a minute or so just to warm up a bit, then turn it off. This makes a nice warm place for dough to rise). Let rise for about an hour.

the dough, pre-rise

DO NOT punch the dough down. The bagels will not rise as well if you do. Pinch off a chunk of dough and form it into a ball (I like mine a bit small, but you can make these any size you want). Press your finger through the middle and stretch the hole open to make it look like a bagel (I like to fling mine around on my finger... it's fun and it does a nice job of symmetrically forming the hole). Make sure the hole is about the size of a quarter or the hole will pretty much disappear when you cook them.

In a large pot, boil 7 cups of water and add 5 tsp baking soda along with 2 Tbsp sugar. Drop a few bagels into the boiling water top-side down and boil them for a minute or so. Don't flip them over... they get a little soggy if you do.

formed, boiled, topped and ready to bake

Lift each bagel out of place top-side up on a greased baking sheet (or parchment lined) and sprinkle with a bit of wheat germ. Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 12-20 minutes (depending on the size of your bagels) until they are brown.

cooling

Cool and store in the freezer until you are ready to eat them. YUM!

My Favorite New Blog

2009-08-21T13:22:00.002-04:00

Holy crap this chick is funny! I am in love with "Aunt Becky" over at Mommy Wants Vodka. Here is an excerpt from today's post:

Love Songs That Make Me…A Little Gushy.
Dave Matthews Band, “Crush”

Now, I’ve always mocked DMB, not because they didn’t have talent, because they do, but because it was always the favorite choice of rich hippie frat boys who wore pukka shell necklaces and deliberately distressed Abercrombie and Fitch shorts. And they’d always call their band “Dave” as in “have you seen the new DAVE album?”

See, now, that sense of imposed familiarity has always annoyed Your Aunt Becky, but undeniably the song “Crush” is one of the best love songs ever written. Somehow, the guy who looks like a middle-school teacher that routinely got all sorts of panties thrown at him, somehow he captured that feeling of falling in love.

“It’s crazy, I’m thinking, just knowing that the world is round.

And here, I’m dancing on the ground.

Am I right side up or upside down, and is this real, or am I dreaming?”

I’m deeply resentful of the fact that not only do I love, love, love this song, I would probably marry it. I exact my revenge upon him by imagining him as the retarded savant he played on House, MD.

I’m sure he’s weeping into his millions of dollars and teenage panty pile.

WARNING: Strong language and adult themes. DO NOT read this blog if you are easily offended or don't possess the required 'off' sense of humor.

There... that warning ought to get everyone over there for a quick read.

Books: My Drug of Choice

2009-08-20T08:35:00.000-04:00

I just can't help myself. I can't resist the lure of an unfinished story, beckoning to me like my morning cup of coffee (or worse, a pan of brownies). I am so easily seduced.

I would sacrifice anything to steal away and sneak in 'just a few more pages'. Even if that means letting my children watch an extra episode of Backyardigans so I can finish the chapter. I will happily sacrifice precious sleep for just a little more alone time with my precious captor.

It calls to me, pulling me in. I can think of nothing else! It becomes an altered reality to me - the people, places, and events. I live them and I cannot get enough.

Too soon, the book is done and the high has ended. I am left miserable and wanting. A junkie in search of her next fix in hopes that it will calm the rising swell of withdrawls that threatens to overtake her.

The pain is unbearable.

%$@ CAT!!!

2009-08-18T11:14:00.003-04:00

So I go to take a shower real quick before I get Evie up from her morning nap. I notice that the bathroom smells a lot like cat crap, but seeing as our litter box is in that bathroom, I didn't think too much of it other than "I need to clean out the cat litter right after lunch.

I pull back the shower curtain and OH THE HORROR!!! Cat crap all in the tub. Nice. This the part where steam comes out of my ears in the cartoon version of my life. I pick up the girls' basket of bath toys (which is housed in the bathtub) and it is dripping with cat pee. Now this is where my head literally explodes in the same boring, but apparently graphic, cartoon version of my life. Sigh. So, I clean up the mess and have the toys ready to be heavily washed and disinfected. And then take my shower.

Added to our busted up van, and a very busy week, this is shaping up to be a good day as far as stress levels go. However, the upside is...

*crickets chirping*

Okay. There is no upside in this situation (and I can almost always find an upside).

Levi, if I didn't love you so much, I would probably kill you.

Back on the Workout Wagon

2009-08-13T09:03:00.002-04:00

So, since January, I've managed to lose twenty pounds. Which, on one hand, "YAY!", but on the other, "Really? It took you eight months to lose twenty pounds?". I know. But given that I have several health issues which make my body want to hold on to every pound for dear life, I'm still pretty happy. My goal is pre-Adelle fighting weight, but I am already under my pre-Evie weight, so I'm getting pretty close.

With the move a few weeks ago, I just lost momentum. Sigh. Thankfully, a fun new friend and I discovered that we are both looking to lose a little chunk of weight. So, we're teaming up to keep each other going. I WILL lose this last bit of weight and not become content with where I am now. I will, I will, I will! Keep telling yourself that, Jo. So, since it is so awesomely cool out this morning, when Evie wakes up from her nap, we will all be going for a walk before lunch. And NO, we won't hit the hills again. Maybe on my solo walks, but never again with the girls and the double stroller. I don't want to DIE, I just want to lose a little more weight.

Unfortunately, walking in and of itself won't really get me to where I want to be. No... this will invlove (shudder) actually working out. Weights and crunches and Pilates and Yoga and all sorts of things I'd rather not do. Okay, well, the Pilates and Yoga are pretty fun, actually, but you know what I mean. I doubt the last chunk of weight I need to lose is all hanging in my arm flaps. Ah well.

So, day one - today's goal is to basically kick my own butt into gear. Here's hoping I don't kick it so hard that I'm useless tomorrow.

Coming from her, I should have known it was prophetic.

2009-08-05T14:38:00.002-04:00

As I was unpacking last week, I came across a lovely gift that someone gave us before we left Philly. It is an illustration of an oasis with Isaiah 58:11 on it.

"The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

Had I taken into account that sweet Kathy was the resident angel at the AWM office and has a real gift for hearing from God, I would have paid more attention to that gift back in December. But I didn't. And honestly, if I had, I don't really know that I could have imagined the scope of those words in my life and the 'sun-scorched' lands we would live in.

However, as I unpacked it, I burst uncontrollably into tears as I thought about how true this has been for us. Never once did God fail us. Not one single time did a need go unmet or a dark day finish without love and encouragement from Him. We survived a massive drought this year only because of God. People have commented on our attitudes and faith through this process and I don't know what to tell them other than, we just followed God. For better or worse, we follow Him. Not because it's easy and not because it's always fun, but because He is Lord. And also because He makes us a spring... for ourselves and also for our nieghbors.

Thanks, Kathy. You continue to bless our family even now.

I'm pretty sure I almost died today.

2009-08-04T18:59:00.002-04:00

We have a park in our neighborhood. It's a nice one, too. I figured we'd walk there this morning since it was pretty cool out. While I love that our neighborhood is basically a nature preserve, it does pose a problem when it comes to a direct route to the park. We had to walk down, around, and then back up to get there, even though it is just behind the house and across the street (maybe when the girls get bigger we can have adventures tromping through the woods and across the creek to get there, but not yet).

So, armed with the stroller, sippy cups and snacks for the girls, water (and coffee for sipping on the bench at the park) for me, I strapped them into the stroller and off we went. Up, down, up, down, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN we went through the neighborhood to the park. I noticed that it was mostly downhill. In fact, it was down very steep hills. I knew it would be rough coming home. I had no idea...

We played for a good forty-five minutes before Evie got cranky (we're phasing out of morning naps) so we took off. UP, UP, UP, GASP, UUUUPPPPPPP, UUUUUPPPPP, GASP, PANT, DIZZINESS, UUUUPPPPPPPP, we climbed for about a mile before it leveled off a block or so from the house. As I was pushing over one hundred pounds of kids plus stroller up these hills, I seriously thought I was going to die. I had visions of Jamie sending out a search party to look for my body when he arrived home from work that day and we were missing. I pictured the girls afraid and crying as they looked down on my limp, lifeless body collapsed on the side of the road. Hoping to avoid this scenerio, I began to pray.

It was then, as I was praying for help, that a funny old man came tearing out of his house asking to say hi to the children. I happily obliged. We was a sweet man who claimed to have played football for UNC and then the Detroit Lions back in the late 50's. I have no reason to doubt this as his long term memory seemed to be in tact. His short term memory, however, has slipped a bit. He introduced himself to me several times and couldn't quite remember where we moved here from. His sense of humor was sharp as ever, though, as he ribbed me for being a Cornhusker and I, in turn, ribbed him for being a Buckeye (he's originally from Ohio). I walked away from my chat with him able to breathe once more and hoping to run in to him again sometime. I also found myself wondering if there is anything I could do for him. I bet a visit from time to time would make his day, whether he remembers me or not...

We did make it home, barely. The next time the girls want to go to the park, I think we'll go after naptime and have Jamie pick us up on the way home from work. I'll tackle those hills solo in my workouts without the extra hundred pounds to manage.

hopefully, a representation of future typical days

2009-08-03T20:06:00.003-04:00

Now that the insecurity of homelessness is behind us, we can finally dig our heels in and make our home here. Today, we started doing just that. The last of the boxes are unpacked, and the pictures hung on the (white...sigh) walls, I can now begin to ease in to some sort of normalcy.

We spent the morning with some great new friends. Then came home and the girls napped while I caught up on a few things. We all gathered at the back door to watch a young doe and three fawns munch in our back yard. The day was then topped off by a solo walk around our new neighborhood, which happens to be nestled in the Carolina Forest area, so our entire neighborhood is basically a nature reserve. Very green, very peaceful.

Tomorrow, I plan to venture out to the neighborhood playground with the girls before it gets too hot and humid to do anything but lay around (we'll probably do a good bit of that after lunch). It should be a good day.

I love my new home. Chapel Hill feels like the place I was always meant to live... I just didn't know it til now.

HOME

2009-07-29T15:10:00.000-04:00

We are finally HOME... somewhere we haven't been since November last year. It's a good thing.

CranioSacral Therapy

2009-07-18T16:41:00.002-04:00

Finally! Something blog-worthy!

I had a completely new experience this morning and it was so fun! A few months ago, I was looking for a IBCLC Lactation Consultant to be a guest speaker/teacher for my Bradley classes. I came across the lovely Rosemary Kolasa and she kindly agreed to work with me. She also happens to be a Certified CranioSacral Therapist.

Right about now, you are probably scratching your head and thinking, "CranioSacral Therapist?". I was too! As we talked about working together, she mentioned that it is easier to demonstrate what it is rather than try to explain it. So, she offered me a free thirty minute session. I jumped at the opportunity to try something totally new.

Arriving at her home office this morning, I had no idea what to expect other then the little bit that I had read about it - she will use gentle pressure on and around my spine and 'listen to my body'. Umm... okay. I was skeptical to say the very least. It sounded a little kooky and new-agey, but I was willing to give it a go.

She had a massage table out and I was instructed to lay down on my back fully clothed and relax. She then held my feet for a minute, commenting that my 'right hip needs some work... no... both hips... hmmm... your whole pelvis, I think'. She then walked around to the side of the table, slid one hand under my lower back and lay the other hand on top of my abdomen. She stayed like this for about ten minutes and occasionally make a little noise to herself like she was commenting back to a conversation I couldn't hear. She then placed one hand under my neck and placed the other on my neck. Again, another ten minutes and another conversation I wasn't privy to. The last ten minutes she used both hands under my head applying gentle pressure to the base of my skull and half-way through, she exclaimed, "oh!" and continued with the gentle pressure. I sensed no change (she later told me that she said 'oh' when my tension there finally eased with a loud sounding pop to her... huh... I didn't hear or feel a thing).

When it was all said and done I had even more questions for her. We chatted for a bit and I was amazed, I have to honestly say. Without knowing anything about me personally, or health-wise, she found every problem I have - hips, thyroid, headaches. Truly amazing to me. And you know what? I left pain-free and still have no pain. Crazy.

She uses this in conjunction with her lactation consultant certification to treat the root of many breast feeding issues. She also treats pregnant women with great success. If only I had known about this when I was suffering with terrible sciatic pain with both my pregnancies!

So, in summary, it was... interesting... but effective. Rosemary is a sweet, gentle woman and I am so blessed to be working with her. My students will love her and truly benefit from her expertise. If you are having any health or pain issues, I highly recommend seeking out a CranioSacral Therapist. If nothing else, you can also experience something totally new... and how often does that happen? :)

Why?

2009-07-17T18:30:00.003-04:00

People keep offering me jobs and interviews now that I no longer need one. Why?

Honestly, I'm thankful it's happening now and not two or three weeks ago when I would have taken them, thus giving up my favorite job - home maker/mommy.

I walked through our new rental home yesterday. It is a little more sad than I remember it being and in much more need of TLC. But, it's ours and I hope to make it warm and cozy (and maybe a little less sad-looking) once we move in. We get the keys next Friday and move in next Saturday. It's been almost eight months since we've had our own place. Weird.

Sorry. I'm not feeling particularly insightful or entertaining this evening... mostly just guilty for not blogging anything recently. But now you know why I haven't - these are the sort of posts you get when I am feeling uninspired/worn out.

And...

2009-07-12T14:58:00.001-04:00

Relax!

I've been afraid to blog the past few days.

2009-07-08T13:55:00.002-04:00

You see, I am afraid that by putting something in writing for all to see, I will somehow 'jinx' it and everything will dissolve into crap again. Since it's been a few days, though, I'll go ahead and risk it. It think, I think, everything might just be okay.

House? Check.

Job? Check.

Family together? Check.

All these things currently located in Chapel Hill, NC? Check!

We move in to our house July 25th and Jamie just started a great new job yesterday. So, again, I think, we're going to make it. However, a slightly damaged and jaded part of me is just waiting for something to go wrong. This realization about my current self, more than anything that has come about in the past seven months, makes me sad. Hopefully, in time, I will be able to just relax and go with the flow of life again instead of anticipating the worst.

Update on prayer this week

2009-06-19T21:42:00.002-04:00

Well, got the house (yay!), but no jobs for either of us (boo). That kinda opens up a whole new round of issues to deal with. Huh.

C'mon jobs!!!

praying this week

2009-06-13T10:38:00.003-04:00

Stopped by JoAnn's the other day. They're hiring. Turned in a application and chatted with the manager. Waiting/praying for an interview and job. Applied for other jobs around town, too.

Jamie will be chatting with the owner of a personal training studio in town this week. Could be a really wonderful thing.

Found a house I love. Turned in application for that, too. No clue how we'll pay rent if we get it.

Praying for these three things this week. Will you join me?

Be Careful What You Ask For

2009-06-08T14:54:00.008-04:00

I have a morning ritual. I think most people do. It enables me to get out of bed most days. I MUST have breakfast accompanied by a glass of milk, and then sit down to a cup of coffee. If I don't, my whole day is off. But before any of that even takes place, I pray. It's a small prayer, and I am sorry to say that some days, it is the ONLY prayer I utter that day, but it is there just the same. "God. I absolutely cannot do this without You. I need You. And I ask that You will be gloried through me today." That's it. Some days I really see it happen, and other days I just hope that wiping small behinds and making grilled cheese sandwiches is somehow glorifying to Him.

As I was driving around yesterday enjoying the silence of being by myself (ahhhh), I prayed. And you know what? God spoke back. Loud and clear, though not audibly. (Now THAT would be awesome/cool/terrifying.) What did He say? Well, He basically called me out for having a crappy attitude about my life right now. You see, we've been pretty much homeless for six months. Jamie has a job, but it doesn't cover any bills, really. In one month, we have to find a place of our own and I have NO IDEA how that is going to happen. But I will say this - for all those days when I felt that my prayer for His glory went unanswered, He is answering it in full force now.

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 2 Cor 4:6-11

So what did God say to me? He said, "Jo, YES you are under a lot of pressure right now, but I promise that you will not break. You are weak, but I am strong. I have not abandoned you. To the contrary, I have purposed these events in your life for your own good and for My Name. I will provide for you. I will care for you. I will make a way for you. Stop trying to take this on yourself. You can't do it. Instead, just praise Me. Praise me for the things you have not yet seen or experienced. Praise me for my love for you. Praise me because I am still God and I am still your Lord."

My response? A lot of tears, and a quiet, Yes, Lord.

No, I still don't know how anything will work out. But I know that it will and I know that in the process, He will be glorified, just as I ask Him to be every morning.

Trust Him with me. Praise Him with me. He is worthy.

The Great Yogurt Experiment

2009-06-06T07:49:00.004-04:00

I've been wanting to make my own yogurt for awhile now. The girls and I love it, but it's expensive and there's so much sugar/artificial sweeteners in it that it makes me nervous/sick. Plus, whole milk yogurt would be so much better for my girls. So, I started researching making my own and thought it was going to be a fussy project to take on. Double boilers, thermometers, seven hours of constant temperature checking/adjusting. Sigh. But then I found a recipe for making yogurt in my crock pot. I was dubious, I must confess. I mean, turn the crock pot on, turn it off, add some yogurt, and let it sit? That's all? YES! That's all. I gave my first batch a try yesterday and I cannot tell you how exciting it was to feel that spoon drag when I expected to find warmish milk at the end of it all. Woo hoo! For the price of a half gallon o whole milk and a 6 oz container of Stonyfield plain yogurt, I got two and a half HUGE 32 oz yogurt containers full of homemade yogurt. I left one plain for making smoothies for the girls (they're crazy about them) and make one batch of peach and one of strawberry for us to eat. YUM! So give it a try... it really is super easy. Questions? Just leave a comment

8 cups (half-gallon) of whole milk--pasteurized and homogenized is fine, but do NOT use ultra-pasteurized.

1/2 cup store-bought natural, live/active culture plain yogurt (you need to have a starter. Once you have made your own, you can use that as a starter)

frozen/fresh fruit for flavoring

thick bath towel

This takes a while. Make your yogurt on a weekend day when you are home to monitor.

Plug in your crockpot and turn to low. Add an entire half gallon of milk. Cover and cook on low for 2 1/2 hours.

Unplug your crockpot. Leave the cover on, and let it sit for 3 hours.

When 3 hours have passed, scoop out 2 cups of the warmish milk and put it in a bowl. Whisk in 1/2 cup of store-bought plain live/active culture yogurt. Then dump the bowl contents back into the crockpot. Stir to combine.

Put the lid back on your crockpot. Keep it unplugged, and wrap a heavy bath towel all the way around and on top the crock for insulation (I used two... one for the top and one around) .

Go to bed, or let it sit for 8 hours.

In the morning, the yogurt will have thickened---it's not as thick as store-bought yogurt, but has the consistency of low-fat plain yogurt.

Stir in pureed fruit if you'd like, just remember to reserve 1/2 c for your next batch. I also added a few tablespoons of agave (like one or two) to sweeten it a bit. You could add honey, but remember to use honey only if you kids are older than two years old if they will be eating this yogurt, too.

Chill in a plastic container(s) in the refrigerator. Your fresh yogurt will last a few weeks. Save 1/2 cup as a starter to make a new batch.

Happy yogurt making!

Yo... Help a Sister Out!

2009-05-19T09:18:00.002-04:00

The amazing Kristen is competing in a triathlon in less that two weeks to raise money for cancer research and patient support. If you've got $5, would you send it her way, please?

I can't do this all on my own. No, I know I'm no super(wo)man.

2009-05-10T21:53:00.006-04:00

It's been a rough few days. My oldest child is three. For those of you out there who have/had a three-year-old, that's all that really needs to be said. For those of you who do not, my days have been filled with mood swings, misunderstandings, defiant disobedience, sibling abuse, and tears (mostly from me).

I forget that this whole situation is hard for Adelle, too, but she doesn't have the tools to express how she's feeling through this six-month-long process of moving from PA to NC. We desperately need stability. We desperately need our own space. We desperately need our family to be all together in one place. Thankfully, we're only days away from these things.

Until then, I wake up every morning and groan the only prayer I can muster, "God, help. PLEASE. I can't do this without you.".

A First. Ewww.

2009-05-07T20:23:00.002-04:00

I forgot how buggy it is here in the South. For all its charms, there are an awful lot of bugs. Icky ones, too. I saw one outside the patio door this afternoon that I'm pretty sure I've never seen before and couldn't identify if my life depended on it. We are currently staying in a charming home nestled in the woods. This, however, just compounds the bug issue.

A few days ago, I was doing Adelle's hair in the morning and saw something on her neck. I tried to brush it off, but it wouldn't budge. So I went in for a closer look. It has legs. Gross. It's a tick... attached to my child. Shudder. Not being a true Southerner myself (seriously... the first time I saw my husband and his family picking things up off the ground, cracking them open, and eating them right there on the spot I was appalled. He kindly explained to me that they were pecans. Sigh... I've grown a lot since then.), I had no earthly idea how to get this icky little bug off my precious child. Naturally, I called my hero, the bug guy, aka Jamie. Armed with rubbing alcohol, tweezers, and some toilet paper, he removed the nasty little critter. I knew then that it wouldn't be the last one that would have to be tended to, but so long as Jamie was around, I figured I had it covered.

Tonight, as I was giving the girls a bath, I found another tick on poor Adelle. She is going to have a complex about bugs on her soon, I think. She flat out refused to use the toilet she saw me dispose of the tick-filled toilet paper in before bed tonight. Well, this time Jamie wasn't home. And he wasn't going to be home until well after bedtime. Deep breath. You can do this, Jo. I mustered all my courage, as well as what little tick removing knowledge I had picked up a few days ago, and managed to free my dear child from yet another tick. Yay me!

I'm quite proud of myself, I must say. I didn't even show outwardly that I was internally having a major freak-out hissy fit over this. I remain, as always, Indoor Jo. This just further cements my resolution to remain a nature lover from the back deck.

"Mommy, is this Saves the Day?"

2009-04-29T12:56:00.003-04:00

This is what Adelle asked me while we were coming home from the grocery store this morning. She also asked if we could listen to "George Music" (aka Jack Johnson).

I love that my daughter has such great taste in music. She can identify a Coldplay or Counting Crows song from the other room after only hearing about two seconds of music.

I love this girl.

Projects

2009-04-26T15:16:00.006-04:00

It's been a fun few weeks of projects for me. I've been trying to wind down here and prepare for our move to CH in a few weeks. I made a few special projects (which can't be discussed here... element of surprise and all that) as well as a few fun projects. I saw some fabric at JoAnn's last week that HAD to be made into skirts for the girls. Adelle was nice enough to model her new skirt for me so I have at least one picture to prove that I have, indeed, finished these.

Adelle twirling in her new skirt.

close-up of the fun fabric

Other than lots of sewing, I've just been organizing a bit and getting us ready to move... again. Thankfully most of our things are still packed up from the last move. We'll move one last time in CH later in the summer and then after that I plan to boycott (or at least loudly protest) all future moves.

awkward segue

There was the most beautiful rainbow last week. I took a few shots, which pale in comparison to the real thing.

yes... it really was that vibrant

the end of the rainbow... no pot of gold

We're Moving! (For Real)

2009-04-17T13:34:00.002-04:00

I just got a call from Jamie. He went down to Chapel Hill today for a second interview at a gym and got the job! YAY! He's now a personal trainer for a gym near CH. What's super awesome is that it will end up being a full-time trainer position, which is rare. Staying at Honza's couldn't have come at a better time. We'll have a few months with few bills for Jamie to build up his client base. He starts Tuesday.

Huge sigh of relief.

We're really moving to Chapel Hill. It's a good day.

We're Moving! (Sort Of)

2009-04-16T11:37:00.002-04:00

We just got an email from a fellow Greenleafer who is going out of town for 2+ months starting at the beginning of May. He needs a house/dog sitter for that time and he asked us if we'd like to live in Chapel Hill for a few months. After settling down from our happy dance, we wrote back saying "Yes, please". So we'll be moving to Chapel Hill around May 8th (great birthday present for me). We both have good leads on possible jobs, so we're hoping they pan out before the move.

Prayers, please keep praying. We're so close!

Does Satan Exist?

2009-04-04T15:53:00.002-04:00

ABC's Nightline Face-Off recently had this discussion. Below is a clip from the show. To watch it in its entirety, go here.

Any thoughts?

interpretation, please

2009-03-25T08:20:00.002-04:00

I had some truly crazy dreams last night (I'm not pregnant).

I went camping with my dad, step-mom, and two of my sisters. Everytime we left the cabin (I thought we were camping...), Kelsey would run and find a deer, get it all worked up, and send it charging at us. Okay...

Then I had to go to the bathroom while traveling. The closest place to stop was a grocery store. The 'bathroom' was actually a pair of toilets set up in the middle of the produce department with nothing around it. Total exposure. i really had to go, so I was forced to endure the humiliation of using the toilet for all to see. Um... again... okay...

Anyone care to decode these? I'm pretty sure there is no deep, spiritual meaning, unless God thinks I should go camping (but watch out for those wild deer) and grow a bit in humility by publicly using the toilet. Hmmm... probably not.

As promised...

2009-03-18T13:29:00.003-04:00

A video. Of Kelsey dancing. On Mill Ave. Good times.

Good Times on Mill Ave.

2009-03-14T13:27:00.007-04:00

Last night Kelsey, Alyssa, and I met up with the fabulous Larson sisters (Kristen and Haley) for fun times on Mill Ave.

The highlight was a poor drunk guy who fell down, busted his head, and then walked away after several minutes of recovery with his entire butt hanging out of his pants. Quite a sight... drunk guy with a probable concussion mooning everyone down Mill Ave. Awesome. We had a great view from the balcony at Gordon Biersch (I highly recommend the Hefeweizen).

To give you a visual of our Evening O' Fun, here is Kelsey,who is in and of herself, THE party in pictorial progression.

one-drink Kelsey

two-drink Kelsey

three-drink Kelsey

four-drink Kelsey

Video to come...

Another Monkey

2009-02-28T08:41:00.007-05:00

I am officially taking a break from monkey making. They are cute and fun, but I need to move on to something new. Here's Kamma's new friend, complete with fun flower hair clip (It's attached with a safety pin so even Kamma could borrow it from her friend if she so chooses)!

If Only.

2009-02-27T20:19:00.003-05:00

If only I had a new baby to make one of these for. Rest assured I am now on the lookout for cool old t-shirts for future cool babies (of friends... not mine. Please God, I am done.).

Max's Loaf

2009-02-19T15:38:00.007-05:00

My new favorite bread recipe - Max's Loaf from Bernard Clayton's New Complete Book of Breads.

when you ask for dreams and visions

2009-02-13T08:34:00.007-05:00

a restless night's sleep
heartache launches its assault
now a heavy dawn

mmmmmm...

2009-02-10T16:41:00.003-05:00

Pound cake, anyone?

pre-icing

post cream cheese icing (with a sliver cut for yours truly).

I'll put the pot of coffee on when you get here, my friends.

Pensieve

Love, Kindergarten Style

Everybody Loves Christmas

another update

Update and Advent for Kids

It's Time.

a blessing and a curse

My Kids Think I'm Cool!

And So It Begins...

Beauty School Drop Out

Maybe Worth Only 100 Words or So

Shoes

Summer Fun, Continued

Puffy Paint!

Homemade Graham Crackers

Summer Sanity

100 Days of Summer

A Good Thought for Today

Bliss and Pain

Mumford & Sons

A Year in Europe

Malodorous (to put it mildly), God-Awful Stench (to call it like it is)

You Should Be Angry, Too

It's Painful, Really.

Musical Beds

Words

A Magical Day

Hmmm... something's missing.

My First Non-Scarf Knitting Project

DONA

TU ES MERVEILLEUX

A Conversation with God

The Rain King

This Weekend in My Kitchen

Plum Butter

To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo?

Summer Break

A Mother's Day Gift

The Curse of Being Busy, Relayed in Choppy Disarray

Easter 2010 Family Photo

What's Going On

German Doughnuts

Signs of Spring

A Dream

Church: No Thinking Allowed?

SNOW!

Bridget's Monkey

Her Own Sense of Style

The Process of Art

Low

Simple Pleasures

A Werewolf in the Shower

Christmas Week

Getting Back to Fun

My Other Babies

Sunday Morning

The Melancholic Mother

Why We Can't Have Chickens

A Little More Random

A Little Bit of Random

Happy Halloween!

Oh, thank you for my AZ

When life gives you apples...

Guess what I'll be doing this week?

Why?

Sigh

The Jesus Storybook Bible

Whole Grain Bagels

My Favorite New Blog

Books: My Drug of Choice

*%$@* CAT!!!

Back on the Workout Wagon

Coming from her, I should have known it was prophetic.

I'm pretty sure I almost died today.

hopefully, a representation of future typical days

HOME

CranioSacral Therapy

Why?

And...

I've been afraid to blog the past few days.

%$@ CAT!!!